I'm glad that I had the tubal done. I am. It was the best decision we could have made in our situation (extremely fertile, three children, not winning the lottery anytime soon...because we don't play, but whatever...hated being pregnant, hated being up all night long, severe cervical dysplasia, etc and etc) but damn if I don't really want to hold a baby today. And yesterday, and maybe the day before.
I know there are women who cannot have children, I know that I should be happy that I have three healthy and happy kids of my own, I know I sound whiny and spoiled, so keep that opinion to yourself, I get it, and I am happy. I am grateful beyond measure.
I worry that the urge to have another child will never wane. Admittedly it's a baby fest around my life right now with a friend just giving birth to a gorgeous little girl, a sister-in-law expecting her first child in May, every person on the damn internet getting knocked up...so yes, I know that babies on the mind can be in direct correlation to the baby overload in my life, but still. They aren't mine, and they aren't here to smell and wash and feed and cuddle. And I will never be able to do that again, and I guess I'm just still kinda mourning that loss, even though it was the best decision for us.
Does it get easier?