I Need to Stay Away From the Pediatrician's Office

I'm glad that I had the tubal done. I am. It was the best decision we could have made in our situation (extremely fertile, three children, not winning the lottery anytime soon...because we don't play, but whatever...hated being pregnant, hated being up all night long, severe cervical dysplasia, etc and etc) but damn if I don't really want to hold a baby today. And yesterday, and maybe the day before.

I know there are women who cannot have children, I know that I should be happy that I have three healthy and happy kids of my own, I know I sound whiny and spoiled, so keep that opinion to yourself, I get it, and I am happy. I am grateful beyond measure.

I worry that the urge to have another child will never wane. Admittedly it's a baby fest around my life right now with a friend just giving birth to a gorgeous little girl, a sister-in-law expecting her first child in May, every person on the damn internet getting knocked up...so yes, I know that babies on the mind can be in direct correlation to the baby overload in my life, but still. They aren't mine, and they aren't here to smell and wash and feed and cuddle. And I will never be able to do that again, and I guess I'm just still kinda mourning that loss, even though it was the best decision for us.

Does it get easier?

Comments

[Lori]

I can't help you. I still get the urge, even though I am pretty sure I don't want another one. We just can't seem to make a firm decision, and then do something to permanently prevent it, so we have decided not to decide. Just enjoy the babies around you, cause they get to go home at night, and you get a good nights sleep. LOL

[Ali]

Hubby's not sure he wants to do the snip snip, but I KNOW we are done. He's slowly coming around. Our youngest will be 2.5 next month, we'll see how long it takes him to set the date.

[Mom]

Nope, it never went away for me. I'm sorry that you may have to wait for grandkids, as I did. But you'll be an Auntie soon enough!
I'm expecting that you'll have a puppy before long.

[Lawgirl]

Even as someone who knows that she doesn't want kids at all, I still love babies. They are so innocent, the world is soooo new to them, and their curiosity is contagious. It is then when I think, what if? But then I come back to my reality. I love to hold them, smell that baby smell, and then hand them back.

[Pamalamadingdong]

Chris had the "procedure" when Noah was about 6 mths old.
And for the past year I have desperately wanted a baby.
I think about it ALL THE TIME.
Do I really want to wake up a billion times a night and breastfeed?
Do I want to potty train again?
HELL NO!

[JuJuBee]

Ok, after driving to PA and back this weekend, my urge has subsided a bit. 8 Hours in the car with small children has made me remember where my brain really sides on the matter.

[ali]

i get the urge every once in a while. when i start to think about a brother for josh. or another little tiny girl to dress in pink. but then reality sets in and the itch goes away. thankfully. because we are totally done. for all the reasons you mentioned :)

[Mom]

Glad for the subsidation. Cause that urge can be powerful. I have it now. Thank you very much ;-P

[Carrie]

Aww, I just read this and it made me stop. Sometimes when you're going through the first couple months (after delivery) you have a tendency to wish time away--you hate getting up ten times a night, your body is sore and out of shape, you're hormonal, etc. But I just thought about what you wrote and it made me stop and try to embrace this time! They do grow so quickly. It doesn't make it easier I suspect when you tend to make such beautiful babies.