I'm Still JuJu McLuckyPants

I'm sitting here, alone, in my quiet (wow, it's quiet) house, listening to the siding pop and the wood creak and the windows rattle from the wind storm happening outside. The kiddos and the husband are off having a nice dinner with grandma and grandpa. I didn't go, because I once again am suffering from a kidney stone.

I can't even express how frustrated I am today. I'm not asking for advice, or sympathy. I'm not looking for a pity party, I'm past all of that. Today I am just mad. I want to know why this is happening to me, what I did to deserve it, how I can fix it, how I can move on with my life without wondering when the next one will hit. It's embarrassing to hear my husband on the phone, "Yeah...she's not feeling well. Kidney stone related I guess, or something, who knows."  I can tell that he is as sick of explaining it to others as I am sick of getting them.

It's my Sunday off. My counter has three consultants, so we rotate our Sundays. I treasure my Sundays off. I look forward to a whole day of relaxing and snuggling up with my family. Kidney stones tend to put a damper on the day, you know? I want my urologist to take me more seriously, call me with the results of my urine tests, tell me what to avoid. I want him to fix me. I want to be me again. I'm tired of being sick, tired of being angry all of the time, tired of being quick to lose my temper, tired of making sure I have my pills before I leave the house just in case, tired of being tired.

Most of all, I am sick of being felt sorry for. There are times when I get one, and don't even tell anyone so I can avoid the whole conversation. Every time I have had an ultrasound, CT or whatever, there has been a stone present, As far as I know mine range from 1mm to 5mm. A 5 is on the large side, and when I had a 5, they told me I could stay or go home and pass it, if it were bigger they'd have made me stay. I don't go back to the ER anymore because all they do (besides making you wait for 6 hours) is put you on a drip to hydrate you, give you some pain meds, and send you home. I can get the same treatment at home, minus the needle, and enjoy my own bed. The urologist basically made me feel like I was wasting his time. He said that I don't get the stones in clusters, and kind of made me feel like an asshole for complaining about a stone here and there while he was spending his day treating uterine cancer and prostate problems. I get about a stone a month. Sometimes more. They might be different stones, they might be the same stone moving around. I've never actually caught one to be sure they'd passed.

Ok, I'm even sick of writing about it now. I'd really like to get back to this site. I miss writing and interacting with you all on a regular basis. I just don't want to be here spewing all of this negativity, so maybe I'll start back out with some cute kid stories. The kids are great. Even though their mommy is dodging stone bullets left and right, they are doing so good...much of that has to do with Mr. JuJu stepping up and taking over when I just can't. He's my rock.

Maybe some happy thoughts soon, or at least some cute pictures:

Comments

[Ali]

I really hope you're feeling better soon. Call that doctor and give him a piece of your mind! Good to hear from you. The kids are as cute as ever!

[Lori]

My little nudge helped, did it? LOL Great to hear from you. I completely understand your wanting to be "normal" again. I don't even remeber what normal is anymore. I have had a sore back, and no energy for so long, that I am sick of feeling this way. I am sorry to hear about the kidney stones. Is it possible to get a second oppinion, or just somehow demand answers? Easier said than done I guess. Well I hope you get to the bottom of it soon.

I got a part time job too. I work in a Real Estate office as a receptionist. It's kind of nice getting out, and talking to people(adults) again. Don't you find sometimes though that when your shift comes a long that it's more of a hassle than it's worth?

Anyway, take care, and I hope to hear from you a lot more.

Lori

[Hazel]

Hang in there kiddo! Find a new doctor, one that empathizes with you. You need fixing, now!

Love the pictures! I miss you guys!

[BuffaloJenn]

I have been in the situation you described re: a doctor not taking you seriously. Please, please find someone else as soon as you can. Good luck.

[Peeved Michelle]

Oh my gosh, it HAS been a long time. Your babies are so big!

[ali]

your kids are so big! and so stinkin' gorgeous!

[Mom]

I quit checking here daily just about two days ago, and of course, I missed this post. Finding it here today was a nice surprise, despite the storyline... Everyone missed you.
The pictures are great. I'm off today, will call.
xo

[Becky]

I am voting with the majority here. It is time for a new urologist. Chronic Kidney stones ARE a problem and if not paid attention to they could do major damage. This is not a matter of oh, it just sucks. This is a matter of how long until something serious happens. Get copies of your records/test results and head to the next door.

[Amy]

forget doctors, get yourself a naturopath. They don't treat the problem, they fix the problem. Try and I mean try is the main word. Try some mineral oil in your diet. throw in a table spoon here and there like in yogurt or in a warm cereal. Even better get Udo's oil and make salad dressing out of it. you can also put it in whatever you can. We should have on average 4 tbs of good oils in our diet daily. Not to mention what it does for your skin. It can't hurt, only help.

[mamma knows]

we just went through the same thing with my husband, 6 hours in ER, 2mm kidney stone, the pain was HORRIBLE. his urologist gave us this bit of advice, he said that if everyone would drink a glass of lemonade a day they would never get another one, something in the lemonade makes it impossible for kidney stones to form. try it girl and I hope it works!!!!!

the kids are beautiful btw :)

[JuJuBee]

I'm on my way to the store for lemonade now, thanks :)

[Jodie]

Hi JuJu, so sorry your not feeling well.

Kidney problems are nothing to mess with, maybe its time for a new dr. I'll be more than happy to go look in my books for a more 'homeopathic' solution if your interested.

Love you, miss you !! XOXOX

[Leane]

Your kids are adorable..and I am a new reader but still wishing you well and hope that you are feeling better VERY SOON!!

[Lori]

Are you trying the lemonade idea. Let me know if it works. I have a friend that suffers from the same thing.