JuJuBee

Missing My Boy and My Elasticity

Do you ever go through periods when you just look like total shit? I just saw a picture of myself from a wedding that we went to last weekend, and I just cannot get over how exhausted and old I look. I wondered why I never get carded anymore and then BAM! there's all the explanation that I needed staring right back at me. I know that it has been over 9 months since I have had a really good night sleep. I never slept well during the last two months of pregnancy, and Andrew is 7 months old...so yes...It's been a long time. Even before that, Maddie didn't sleep through the night for almost over a year. I have quite a deficit going. It's certainly taken a toll on my appearance. If it was just appearances that I was worried about, I could live with that, but I am also grouchy, forgetful, disorganized, completely lacking in energy, and basically just...exhausted. Not looking good is just icing on the cake. YUM.

I didn't intend to get on here and complain about my face, honest. I came to share some plans with you. We are leaving tomorrow bright and early to head to our Aunt and Uncle's beach cottage where we will hang out until Sunday night or Monday morning. Then we will come home and guess who will be waiting for me?? LITTLE JUJU! I swear it feels like he has been gone for a month. I can't wait to hug him.

On the 4th of July, we will be going to hang out with the Stanley Cup. A relative plays for the Ducks, so he gets the cup for a period of time and we are going to go check it out. LittleJuJu is much more excited about this than I am, but I'll take some pictures, should be fun.

I hope you all have a safe and wonderful holiday (are you celebrating this weekend like we are?) and for all of the Canucks...Happy Dominion Day or whatever else it is that you celebrate! Excuse my ignorance when it comes to foreign holidays, I have a hard enough time trying to remember the American ones.

Like a Chastity Belt, Only Cushier

It would seem as though posting daily is now some sort of a personal goal for me. I am very stubborn and when I get an idea into my head...let's just say that I don't like to upset the balance of order. Since so many things in my house right now are OUT of order, it's somewhat comforting to know that I can maintain some sort of daily ritual here. Much like I used to have a glass of wine every night. Before it started to put me to sleep after two sips in. I miss the days of having some wine (or a beer for the Mister) and watching a movie after putting the kids to bed. Now we put the kids to bed like 20 times and by the time they are actually asleep,  so am I. Where the hell was I going with this?

Oh right, stubborn. Dear Internets...please allow me to introduce Queen of All That is Stubborn and Ornery and a Bit Whiny and Miserable, my daughter, Madeline. As you might be aware, we starting potty training yesterday. Consequently, we also ended potty training yesterday, or rather I ended potty training yesterday. The girl, she has not forgotten, nor has she forgiven the potty training extravaganza that went down in our living room.

It started out badly enough when she put on her big girl Elmo panties and immediately climbed up onto the couch and pissed all over it.  The Girl, she is not used to being wet and cold and covered in her own urine, so as one might be wont to do, she screamed and cried and acted as though the world was about to  crumble into  tiny bits of  shattered  glass.  We dropped trou (really, how would you spell that?) and rushed her to the potty to finish her peeing.

That's the beginning of the end. She was so afraid of peeing on something in our house, that she wouldn't get OFF of the potty, and she was so afraid of peeing IN the potty that she held it...for a very long time. Hours. I figured that she would have to go eventually, and when she finally DID go, she would realize that it was fine, maybe even awesome. Let's face it, we have all held our pee so long that eventually when we had the chance to go, it felt rather orgasmic, so that's where my head was right? She'll love it!

Fast forward to today. She is back in her diaper, she is still so traumatized that she is holding her urine and won't allow herself to go, even in the diaper. She holds it until she is in agony, whining and crying, then she either goes, or the feeling passes and she is fine for the 10 or 20 minutes until the feeling creeps back in.

Obviously potty training is going to have to wait much longer than I had hoped. It's ok though. I have no problems sending her to college with a diaper.

Who has ever heard a guy say to his friend, "Damn she's hot. I can't wait to get into her diaper."

That's what I thought.

Potty Training 101 or Kill Me Now and Put me Out of my Misery

In an effort to stand by by word, I am posting again, even though I have nothing of any importance to share. Mostly I am just in utter disbelief that it is only 9:51 am. I was certain that it had to be at least 11:30 by now. I have had a tough morning, you see. Potty training 101 is only a couple hours in and I already feel as though I could pack the car up, abandon the family and start a new life in some small out of the way town like Topeka or some place. Topeka of course, because no one would ever think to look there. I mean, not Topeka...I would never go there. So don't even bother looking there.

Ahem.

I don't want this to be a negative experience for her, but I refuse to give up until she goes at least ONCE and sees that it is not going to KILL her. If she continues to hate it, I will back off but she has to give me at least one little trickle in the stupid fucking Elmo potty that speaks SPANISH and ENGLISH! What's not to love?? She did pee on the couch as soon as we put her big girl underwear on. So I know her PeePeeGina(TM)  is not broken. She is just being stubborn.

I need to get back to the horror that is my day.

As an aside....Mr.JuJu has expressed an interest (maybe it was my idea, but he didn't exactly run from it) of having a sort of Mr. JuJu Monday or maybe just a Mister Monday where he would hijack my blog for the day and write what he wanted. I doubt that it will ever come to fruition, much like his story of 3.0's birth, but we'll see. What do you think?

Send me some good potty vibes....please.

THIS JUST IN:          Madeline 1    Mommy 0

Mommy folds. Might try again sometime within the next five years. Chances are slim to none.

JuJuWho?

There's really no point in boring you with the whys and howcomes and the where have I beens and all of that nonsensical jargon...the important thing is that I am here, people. You have missed me...I know that you have been crying, maybe even sobbing into your cornflakes, but never fear, for I am back. I am possibly even going to be posting on a somewhat regular basis (what constitutes "regular" anyway?) so commence with your rejoicing! Shout it from the roof tops! JuJuBee is back! SHE'S BACK!

Now maybe she will shut the fuck up and get back to what is new. Also, I think she may have spit on my keyboard.

You guys look great! Have you lost weight or something? I haven't seen you in sooo long. I've almost forgotten how to type.

I think we are maybe finally getting settled in to our new home. We are certainly far from having boxes unpacked. There are quite a few in the basement that once a week or so we will move around in order to feel as though we have made some huge progress in the unpacking department. We will eventually have a living area down there, but it might be years before I can even imagine what it would look like. Step by step...day by day and all of that crap.

So..as for the children: The boy, he is spending a week in Pennsylvania with my family. He does that every summer. It used to be a relaxing week for me, but  now with the little people, it isn't as relaxing as it once was. Still...it's quieter, and I have less to clean up and I don't find puddles of piss on the floor by the toilet...so there's that.

The Girl. What can I say? She is just amazing. If she grows up to be half as stubborn and hilarious and comical and intelligent as she is right this second? I'll never have to worry about her. We started potty training last night and so far it consists of my asking, "Hey Maddie!!! Don't you want to sit down on the potty and make a pee? You can have some MnM's if you do!!" and then she screams, "OK!" and sits on the potty for 2.4 seconds, making a pretend peeing face and jumps up to show me some imaginary pee in the potty and holds out her hands for some candy. We have work to do.

The baby is...well....he keeps us on our toes. He has been sleeping better, eating better, and spending more time not screaming.  Progress!  More on  the baby as the milestones hit. I sense some sitting up and/or crawling very soon.

Ok, enough for now. Too much typing all at once might scare my fingers back into hiding. What have you been up to, internets!?