JuJuBee

BadAss

I'm in a mood today, which is unfortunate really because I have nice things to tell you about. Things I have been trying to tell you for days, but factors have been at play that have forced me to abort my mission of telling you pretty, nice, sappy things such as but not limited to:  broken computers, failed log in attempts, sleepless nights, last minute shopping (MOMMMM, you told me that you were giving me some birthday presents on Christmas Eve, remember? REMEMBER? YOU PROMISED!) single parenting of three children, Christmas vacation from school (you bastards), etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

I swear to all that is good in this world, that if this post does not post I will...well I don't know what I'll do, but I will not even think about! It will be a knee-jerk reaction! Fly by the seat of my pants, damnit! Not well thought out at all! Watch out!

Ahem. I know I can be intimidating. I'm sorry.

(Son: The baby is sleeping. You told me that when the baby went to sleep we could make cookies. He is asleep. Mom? Mom?? MOM? Mommy? Mom. Mom. Hey mom. He's asleep. Mom. Remember you told me that when he...)

Can I scream at you all for a second? Would you still love me in the morning if I just had a little breakdown? What if I told you that the mister was gone from Monday until Wednesday and that he was also working until late tonight AND tomorrow night? Would you forgive me then? And that the baby doesn't sleep for shit and that my little girl is the most defiant, non listening little stinker that you have ever met in your life and that the oldest child spilled two drinks today on the floor that I just mopped and after that, he woke up the smaller two right after they had FINALLY fallen asleep? You'd forgive me?

Well, nevermind. I feel better now.

I could also really use some cookies.

How could I stay mad at these monsters?

This photo didn't make the Christmas card cut, by the way. Clearly. What did LittleJuJu just smoke, I wonder?

Stupid Germ Laden Chuck-E-Cheese's

So would you like to know how I celebrated my son's FIRST MONTH finally being over? I puked a few times and made my husband miss two days of work while I lay on the couch and waste space.

Ahhhh. The stomach flu. Good times, good times.

I've been away you see. Been sick, been useless, been yucky and non-showered. But (BUT!) those days are over my friends and I can say that having the stomach flu has actually two upsides to it:

1) I am very close to my pre-pregnancy weight.

2) I heard something come out of my husband's mouth that I had been waiting to hear for a very long time. He said, "I don't know how you do it."

Those words alone were worth every ounce of fever, vomit, ache and chill. If you are a stay at home mom (bonus points for moms of multiples) then you know how very important those words are to hear. They put some validity to your existence as a mom. They echo what you say to yourself each and every night when the children are FINALLY in bed. How do I do it? How did I get through today? How am I going to get through tomorrow? You know what I'm talking about, don't you? When someone puts him/herself in your shoes and sees what it is all about, you can finally relax in knowing that you aren't alone. They lived it for a day...even the REALLY AWESOME parts, like when the baby cooed, or when the little girl blew a kiss and said "sunshine" for the first time...even those GREAT parts of your day are known.

It's amazing, when you think about it, what one can accomplish in a day. From the getting breakfast ready and cleaned up, to the getting children clean and on the bus and lunches packed and dishes clean and dry and laundry folded and put away and babies fed and burped and toddlers kissed and hugged after a fall and lunch served and....Christ Almighty...nevermind. I was happy to be well enough to fold clean laundry. That's how fucking insane I am.

So yes...the baby, he is one month old today. I'm not doing a monthly update for this as it would be so boring that even my parents would read through two lines and want to poke their eyes out with knives. "Oh the baby sleeps and eats and poops and cries all of the damn time....THE END". There you go. On to Month 2 already.

So, to recap: I was sick. I am better. My husband stayed home two days from work and totally kicked ass at making our house run smoothly, the baby is a month old.

That's about it.

What's new with you?

Part Success, Part Kick-Ass Parenting

Well, I got through the morning with the babies and the Holiday Program at school. I decided to get up and shower at 6:30 this morning so I wouldn't have to rush to get LittleJuJu showered, fed and out the door while getting myself and the two VERY NEEDY children ready to go. It went smoothly, even with the ton of snow we were given last night.

Speaking of snow...we ran out of laundry detergent and baby wipes (two must have essentials in my home) so I drove to the grocery store around 9 pm last night after the kids had gone to bed. I will admit to being a big huge WUSS when it comes to driving in snow, especially with our pretty new van, and our roads were covered. The snow kept right on falling the whole 30 minutes that I spent in line while a training cashier waited on me. Of all of the grocery store lines in all of the world, I had to choose hers, you know? She knew nothing, I was her second customer ever, and she was like TWELVE years old. She picked up my diet Mt. Dew and asked me for I.D...I let her realize her mistake before I even moved or said anything. Then I killed her.

The musical today was so cute. BabyToddlerJuJu danced and sang right along with the children on stage and LittleJuJu was showing all of his friends that he had taught her to high-five. You could tell he was so proud to show her off. Very sweet. The Girl slept for all of 4 minutes in the car and has been up ever since. Why do children DO THAT?

Wish us luck tomorrow at the birthday party. Only two more RSVPs to go!!

Oh, right...the baby is fine. He still doesn't sleep, but last night seemed a bit better. Maybe I am delusional, but whatever. I'll take it. Here he is showing off his typical "deer in the headlights" look. Toodles.

Sometimes You Just Need Some Girly Pictures

....not THOSE kind, you perverts.

I think Mr. JuJu needs some more motivation (read: nagging) from you to post his version of the baby's birth...

Adaptation: JuJubee Edition

As you might be able to imagine, I'm busy. Like, all of the time. This is acceptable as I am not one to sit around on my ass all day long eating bon-bons or whatever it is that we "homemakers" are known to do. I leave the TV on during the day so I can pretend to have some adult interaction. I listen to Good Morning America for the news and then listen to Regis and Kelly for my celebrity gossip fix (and BabyToddlerJuJu likes the music during the stupid Trivia-A-Go-Go game) but I never sit down, unless it is to check my email, read a blog or two, or eat my lunch.

Since the complete lack of sleep that we have gotten since November 15th, I have attempted to become a napper. When the rare opportunity arises that The Girl is in her crib and The Baby is asleep, I try to lay down on the couch for a nap. I try, I really do! For some reason my body reacts to naps as one might react to being stuffed into your own trunk after being abducted by a murderer. I fight it. Something in my brain will not allow me to become a napper. So not only am I BUSY...I am also TIRED AS HELL.

Lack of sleep does strange things to me. The list includes, but is not limited to: black circles of death under my eyes, severe headaches, moodiness, moodiness, moodiness (did I mention the moodiness? because I feel as though it deserves extra emphasis)  bad skin,  chapped lips,  dull hair,  brittle nails,  bloodshot eyes,  (I know I am  sounding EXTRA-ULTRA-SEXY right now) but thing is? I don't even care much about those things because I  can wear my old jeans again, and that is worth  having some  nasty nails anyday.

So, where was I? Hmn...

Oh sleep. Right. Lack of sleep also causes a bad case of forgetfulness, and also horrible spelling and typing skills. Sue me.

I guess the whole point, and yes there is a point here, is that trying to function with three kiddos in December, with one of those kiddos having a BIRTHDAY on CHRISTMAS, is proving difficult. Especially on no sleep. Friday is LittleJuJu's little holiday program at school at NINE-FUCKING-FIFTEEN in the morning. Mr. JuJu can't miss work for that, so I am on my own to get myself and the two little ones ready and to the school by 9. Maybe that would be nothing to YOU, but to me...well, it's gonna be fun. Then we are having LittleJuJu's very first friend-birthday party on Saturday at Hell-On-Earth with ten of his school friends. I have to find sometime to myself to do some Christmas shopping for him too.

It's ok not to get the two little ones any gifts for Christmas right? I mean, they don't know the difference, and our wallets can't take the blow this year anyway, so it's ok, right? Right? Huh?

I'm going to include a couple pictures...random pictures, so don't go searching for a theme or anything. I couldn't possible POST and also include THEMED pictures in one day. Who do you think I am, Jesus?

Ok, well apparently I can't post pictures today, something about the connection being refused. Interesting.