JuJuBee

43 Weeks

Ok, so I'm not 43 weeks. I'm actually not yet 37 weeks. Friday I will be 37 weeks, but seriously, I feel like 43 weeks. Even 52 weeks. Sometimes I feel like 73 weeks and 2 days, sometimes I feel like 63 weeks and 5 days. You just never know, but you can be sure as hell that I feel...extremely far along.

Anyway, I've been chastised for my lack of update concerning the status of my pregnancy. Status is? Still very much pregnant. I had a few minutes last night when I thought I might be going into labor. Nothing much except that the baby was moving around like mad and it seemed that he was trying to burrow his way down into my nether-regions. It was bizarre. I don't feel like he has "dropped" but I never felt that the other two dropped either. The feeling passed, and I became irritatingly uncomfortable in my chair and my body and was sending mean looks and vibes all over the place until I finally fell asleep, woke up around one am and drug my body up to bed.

Halloween has been a bust. Poor LittleJuJu didn't get to trick-or-treat in our neighborhood due to the weather, and he was supposed to go this evening with some friends in their area, but looks like we might get rained out on that front as well. He is going to be mighty pissy when he gets home.

In other news...wish my father a Happy Birthday today! Miss you, Dad.

That's all the news I have. What are your Halloween plans?

Also, don't forget to head over to The Peevery and vote for your favorite Halloween Peever. I know mine is lame and I apologize, but cut me some slack. It's been a weird week.

What Am I Going to do With All of This Candy?

No baby yet. There, you are updated.

We were supposed to have friends over this evening to go trick-or-treating through our neighborhood. LittleJuJu has been bouncing off the walls with excitement, the poor kid doesn't have too many friends over to play. Neither do I actually. We cleaned and bought yummy treats and Halloween cookies and decorated the house...but, of course, one guest is sick and honestly? The weather is AWFUL. Rain, Hail and wind that threatens to take our house. O-well.

I woke up this morning with LittleJuJu in my face. His hair looked...odd.

I asked what he had done to his hair and he told me, "nothing...I just wanted to style it." I smelled this weird combination of Mr. JuJu's cologne and some sort of vapor odor.

After Mr. JuJu glanced into his bathroom, he saw that the kid had taken Vick's Vapo-Rub (he thought it was hair gel), Mr. JuJu's Very Sexy cologne, a hairbrush and a tube of chap stick. He'd been primping while we slept! His "girlfriend" was the one who was sick and couldn't make it today.

My boy was primping. For a girl.

God help me.

I've been smelling him all day long and I keep turning around expecting to see Mr. JuJu standing there. Instead I see little Mr. Casanova with disgusting oily vapor hair.

He's so cute - and vapory.

Here's a picture from yesterday's Halloween (Fall Fantasy Party) at school. This was after he had already taken off the  Superman costume.

Running to Stand Still

Still here. Not for long....

LittleJuJu has a school party today for Halloween (sorry...it's a Fall Fantasy Party for those who may be offended at the thought of innocent children celebrating a holiday that is so eeeevvvviiiiilllllll) and then the whole elementary school has an adorable parade through the gym (raining today, otherwise they would go outside) for all of the parents to ohhh and ahhh over. Keeping the baby toddler in her stroller might very well get this labor into gear.

It's a very unnerving feeling to know that I am dilated, but not know a) how much so and b) when my labor will start. I am at the mercy of fate here. I wake up each day telling myself that this could be the day, so I make sure and get the beds made, make sure the laundry is caught up, make sure the kids things are where they belong in case a grandparent needs to find something while I am gone, make sure the toilets aren't peed on, make sure the essentials are stocked in the fridge. I just know that the one day I don't worry about those things, I will go into labor and not be home for three days and OHMYGODWHATIFTHEREISNOMILKINTHEFRIDGE?? Of course, the world would end. Forget that I don't have a bag packed. Apparently the state of my utensil drawer trumps actual items I might NEED in the hospital. I'm logical that way.

I did make a trip to the mall (all alone!) on Wednesday evening to buy myself some comfy new flannel jammies and a robe for the hospital. I figure I deserve new jammies for pushing a human out of my damn self. Thing is, if I recall correctly, I didn't ever get out of the ugly-ass hospital gown during my entire stay with BabyJuJu. So, maybe I won't need them, but they will be nice for when I get home. Also have some new pink slippers and pink fluffy socks. This poor baby boy will be seeing PINK everything when he is born. If that makes him gay - well, that's ok by me. I promised my father-in-law that I would not sign the boys up for ballet, and that will have to be good enough for him.

So anyway, that's the update. Still no baby, still hoping for November 5, still in the minivan purchasing process (but getting damn close to buying an '06 Grand Caravan with the stow and go that I hear everyone loves), still can't get up from the couch without lots of grunting and otherwise completely unsexy noises. Still freaked and mostly...

Still really excited.

Oh...please go wish my mother and stepfather lots of healthy get better wishes...we don't want this baby to come whilst they are in the midst of the flu.

Also, Happy Early Birthday to my DAD, who turns really old on Halloween, just in case I'm not here...Love you, Pops.

Whoa Nelly

35 week (35 weeks and 4 days to be exact) check-up this morning. Was told that the baby's heartbeat is great, in the 150's. My blood pressure is fine. I'm weighing just about exactly what I did with BabyJuJu (just carrying it in different places, unfortunately) and I was tested for Group B Strep. Last pap came back normal, so we aren't going to worry about the dysplasia issues until after the baby comes. Which? Could be alot sooner than we had expected...

I'm three (3!) THREE centimeters dilated. Now, I know not to get all worked up about this. I know that some women can be dilated for weeks before they have their baby. I was 2 centimeters dilated with BabyJuJu for a couple of weeks before she came. I have done this twice before, I know the drills, I know what to watch and feel for, I know to take it easy. This does not make me feel any more comfortable with having this baby early (again).

Doc says that if we can hold off for another ten days, when I am 37 weeks, he would have no worries at all. BabyJuJu came just one day shy of 37 weeks and she was fine. She had some jaundice issues, but her respiratory system was perfect. She was perfect. I know this little guy will be fine, but seriously? We aren't ready. The house isn't ready, the bassinet is still in the basement, we have doctor appointments, school Halloween parties and trick-or-treating to do. My bag isn't packed, I wanted to get a pedicure and pluck my eyebrows. I'm not ready for my girl to not be the baby anymore. I'm JUST NOT READY.

Ok, I know that like two posts ago I said I was ready. Like, verbatim. Shut up about that.

Why does the universe have to take me so literally?

We have decided that November 5th would be perfect for us and our schedules, so...everyone please pray or hope or whatever it is that you do, that our baby will arrive on November 5th. I will totally make out with everyone of you if you can make that happen. Mr. JuJu won't even care (but you might have to make out with him too, seeing as we are not allowed to have sex anymore...) Ok? Can you make this happen for me?

Great. I'm so glad we had this talk. Now I really need to go and think about a middle name for this boy.

UPDATE: NO PERTUSSIS

Never a Dull Moment (Example 4,176)

Thanks for all of your input and suggestions for the baby's middle name. I haven't had a chance to go through yet and try out each name to see how it rolls off of the tongue (I think that part is very important and I wish we were extremely Italian, because those people have some awesome rolling names). But! I will get to that and get back to you all. Mr. JuJu might even have an opinion!

I am in a rush, but wanted to update friends and family that might still be reading here that I have to take LittleJuJu into Children's Hospital today and have him screened for Pertussis.

Whooping Cough. Pertussis.

Yeah. I know. WTF?

He was immunized against it, but apparently that doesn't matter. I guess the shot only helps keep the bacteria at bay, doesn't prevent it altogether. My doctor told me that she has seen maybe ten cases in her career, and five of those have been within the last two weeks. His only symptom is a very dry cough. It isn't even constant, but once he starts coughing, he simply cannot stop. I feel so bad for him. We both doubt that it is Pertussis, but we need to know since it is extremely contagious and can be fatal in infants...we have the little sis and the pregnant mother, so. Off we go.

It could also be some form of asthma that would go hand in hand with his allergies. The coughing is triggered by activity (running, playing hard, jumping, etc.) so we will test for that next.

Because clearly I have nothing better to do 3-4 weeks before my due date.

Also!! Mr. JuJu is headed to NY this evening and guess what? He is taking BabyJuJu!!

One the one hand I am just thrilled to be able to spend some alone time with the boy, and actually be able to get some things done around the house that I just can't get done when she is home...but on the other hand....

MY BABY IS GOING TO BE GONE UNTIL SUNDAY.

I may need to borrow someone's baby for a few hours, let me know if yours is free.

Mr. JuJu will also be helping his sister and her fiance to clean up their yard a bit. They were hit hard when the winter storm tore through Buffalo last week and they STILL don't have power. May not until Sunday or Monday. I feel so bad for them.

So...I will update with news on the Pertussis front and let you all know if my entire family will be on a two week dosage of antibiotics or not.

Good times.

Your Mission, Should You Choose to Accept It

Wow, thanks for all of your thoughts and opinions about the dreaded minivan situation! So what have we learned? A damn hell lot of ya love the Odyssey and also I am not allowed, under any circumstance, to slap a sporty themed magnet or sticker on the rear. That's ok. I can deal with that. Do I also have to forgo the "Proud Parent of a Blah Blah Blah School Child With Excellent Character" bumper sticker? I'm just so proud about that!

On to more ways to enlist your help.

We have been struggling (severely) when it comes to finding a middle name for 3.0 and we need your thoughts. I'll go ahead and tell you that we have (mostly) decided on Andrew as his first name. We like the old fashioned, antique-revival names of the past, and we like simple. I realize that Andrew is extremely common, but that is ok. We are going with "Drew" as a nickname and he will probably get that more often than the full name.

We have gone through every male middle name that we can think of. Not even LittleJuJu's helpful suggestions have stuck (SHOCKER) and so what do you think? Do you have any suggestions for us? It can be anything except for James...as I am related to one of those (Andrew James) and I'd hate to steal his thunder and make a cute little baby with the same name.

So...go forth and name my baby.

Minivans Never Get Pulled Over, RIGHT?

Ha. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about this quite yet, but we are buying a minivan. At first, when we knew we had to get one back around February and we were seeing 2 pink lines, I hated the idea. Mr. JuJu probably felt as though he would have to chop off his testicles and hand them to the dealership as we signed on the line, but here we are and there ya go. Three car seats in my Camry is just not going to work.

Thing is? As I was testing one out last night? I came to the realization that I actually didn't hate the thing. The more I drove? I was even sorta kinda liking it.

I know! What the?

So my question is for all of the MOMMYBLOGGERS (ahhhh!) out there who have a van and even the DADDYBLOGGERS (doubleahhhh!) who have some input for me. What kind of van do you drive? What do you like/dislike about it? What options could you not live without? Do you feel dorky when driving it? Can you still flirt and make eyes with the hot guy next to you at the red light, or are those days officially over?

Just kidding, Honey. I hardly ever do that anymore.

Also...do I have to get some of those baseball/soccerball/basketball magnets to adhere to the back? Is that required? What about those bumper stickers that say, "If this van's a rockin'...." Oh I am totally getting one of those!

Lack of Communication at It's Finest

LittleJuJu and I having a conversation at the fountain in the mall...

LittleJuJu tossing coins and making wishes, stops to stare dreamily at all of the glittery coins:

Him: Man. I wonder who has to pick all of these things up and count 'em.

Me: I don't know. I know I wouldn't want that job.

Him: Me either. I bet hell could do it.

Me: Ahhh. Hell?

Him: Yeah...hell.

Me: ....

Him: You know...Hell. Jesus's dad?

Maybe it's time to break out the Dan Brown novels?

I'm Just SO Ready to be Done

There's that point where you just know that you are going to order a pizza and then eat way too much of it. No matter how huge and fat and unattractive you have been feeling for months now, and no matter how hard you might be trying to really just tone it down a bit with the eating and the cravings, there comes this point when you just...know.

And then you do it. You call and order the pizza. You justify and rationalize the purchase with such explanations as...Mr. JuJu is working late tonight and won't be home, so why cook anything? (As if all of the times that he indeed does make it home for dinner, you are waiting at the door in your apron, just about to pull a roast from the oven, handing him his three fingers of scotch....yeah, OKAY) or, or, or...hey! The kids will eat pizza and be so happy and I won't have to even talk them into it, they will just eat it and smile and I won't have to fight with them, and I'll smile, and we'll all be so happy.

So you order and it comes and it smells so freaking good and you promise yourself just one piece, but of course this was just like that time last week when you promised yourself one potato chip and you ended up eating so much that you made yourself SICK because really, there is only so much room left in my stomach for actual FOOD.

I'm feeling sick, people. I'm feeling sick and I can't even go for a run to make myself feel less guilty and blah and huge.

I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore.

Wait, We Sell Guns Too. Did Ya Need One of Those?

I'm not a fan of  WALM-ART. I go there only when I need to. Unfortunately the need to go there has been twice in the last four days. Needless to say, I have had my fill and am WAY over my WALM-ART quota for the month. Maybe for the year.

I stopped in (if by "stopped in" you mean I dragged both children and my huge uncomfortable belly into the store after spending 20 minutes circling the parking lot for a space that would not cause me to walk my huge belly farther than a 3 mile distance...why the hell can't they have just ONE of those "Expectant Mother Parking" spots when they have 2000+ handicap spots??) to pick up a booster seat for my car. I've been breaking the law and driving around with LittleJuJu in the backseat secured only by a seat belt for too long now. His booster is in Mr. JuJu's car and I'll be damned if I can ever remember to grab it and put it back into my own. So what the hell, I buy another one and we both win.

So we go in, I find ONE booster seat in stock, throw it in the cart and make my journey up to the checkout to pay and hopefully get out before the kids start their kid crap:

Can I have this? I NEED this! Oh my god, Billy has this, can I get this? YOU ARE NO FAIR. I'm hungry, can I get a candy bar? WHY? You are so mean to me. I never get anything anymore. I bet BabyJuJu can have something, she gets whatever she wants. OHHH, can I have THAT? WHAT? No? Fine. I am not eating my dinner. I mean it. I don't care. Can we just GO? I hate this store.

YEAH ME TOO.

So after we get home and do homework, eat dinner, play with some toys, watch some TV, I notice that LittleJuJu is playing with something. It looks like a credit card. So I go over, thinking that it is one of the gazillion fake promotional cards that we get in the mail and I give to him to play with. I grab it to check and to my HORROR, I see that it is a WALM-ART gift card. I scan my brain trying to place it. Hoping and wishing that there was maybe one tucked away in the desk or in a drawer that I had forgotten about and never used. I couldn't come up with a logical reason that my son would have this on his person. I asked where it had come from.

"I found it."

"You FOUND it?"

"Yes."

"Where did you find it?"

"I dunno."

Ok, so there is my answer. He stole it. My son stole this card from a store. Great. Peachy. I am raising a felon. Not even a SNEAKY felon. He was laying on the couch just PLAYING with it, right in front of me! Like, LA-TI-DA....Lalala, looky what I've got! Wee, so much fun playing with this card, it feels so smooth across my lips...look how I can bend it just so and shoot it across the room...Lalala.

My little shoplifter. Who thinks that because it was not a toy or candy, that no one would mind that he took it...and it was laying on the floor. I mean really, MOTHER. The FLOOR.

So on top of the two visits in four days, I had to make the pilgrimage BACK into retail hell and find an employee who seemed to know where she was (no easy feat) and force my son to admit to what he had done and apologize. Do you know what that bitch said to my son as he handed her the card?

She said, "Oh it's OK, Honey. Thank you!".

After I picked my jaw up off of the floor, I grabbed his hand and rather loudly told him that it was indeed NOT OKAY and headed out the door.

I'm just...speechless. Really.

Has your child ever stolen anything? How have you dealt with it? I'm thinking I would have loved if the security guard at least would have come over and scared the boy some. Nothing! She thanked him and said it was okay! I'm speechless.