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Oh Jenny- that is so much to deal with. My dad has similar issues and my childhood is filled with memories like that. My best "advice" just love him and be the best daughter possible. You seem like you already know that and do that so I think you are okay :)


holy shit.
hang in there.


Although she has never fully been diagnosed, I belive my mother is in this same boat.I am currently struggling with how to have a relationship with her without it being detrimental to myself. I hope that your father has good doctors watching over him. Sending you good vibes.

Hazel Hazel

{{{{Hugs}}}} To you and your dad.


Hang in there babe we can get through this. Like we have been. Nice blog.


Ju, I just realized reading this that there's something you don't remember that might make some sense. We'll talk.
This took courage for you. I think you'll find that a lot of people understand and sympathize.


Hope your mom has some good insight. Knowing her, I'm sure she does. Good luck dealing with all this stuff. It's tough but it'll work out.

Abby (ctmommie)

My uncle has the same issues and checked himself into a hospital a few weeks ago and is still there. I feel for you...


I am so sorry to hear about your father. I know how difficult that is. My mom has anxiety attacks and mood swings that suggest she's bi-polar. My parents divorced when I was 5 or so and my sister and I went to live w/my dad because my mom was just not able to function and take care of herself properly, much less a 3 and 5 year old. She has checked herself into a hospital at least 3 or 4 times that I know of and probably even more times I don't. She met her current husband while they were both in treatment at the same facility. She for depression (I assume. She's never told me the exact diagnosis, but I believe that's what it was.) and he for alcoholism. Boy, what a pair they are! When we went to visit them, we always had a great time. Unless mom was "feeling blue" (as she called it) or unless he was drinking. Then, I remember nasty screaming matches that sometimes excalated into pushing and shoving and then we scrambled to pack our stuff so we could spend the night at grandma's. Thankfully, those memories are few, but they are still there.
Now, mom is dealing struggling with her own mother's illness. My grandma is in the final stages of heart failure and it's just a matter of time now until she is no longer with us. When talking to my mom and casually asking if she'd been to visit grandma, mom had an anxiety attack on the phone but refused to end our conversation. She tried to describe to me what she was feeling, but she just couldn't put it into words. Even trying was enough to make her physically ill. She eventually tried to laugh it off and say "I'll be fine in a day or two" but I really worry about her. And is it wrong of me to secretly hope that I didn't inherit that from her?
Anyway, didn't mean for this to be so long, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.
Just try to love your dad as best you can (as it seems you certainly are). And I've found that talking about my situation w/my sister has helped me not really to understand my mom, but at least I feel I'm not so alone in trying to deal with her, you know? Is there anyone in your family you could talk about this with? Just a thought.

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