Three's A Charm

So...ah...right! I kinda left you all hanging there with my last (adorable) video post where I mentioned that I'd be giving you some crazy news the next day. Oops. Honestly? No one even mentioned anything about it, so you must not really give a hoot. That's ok.

No...really. It's cool.

My last annual pap seemed to be showing some abnormal cells and I was scheduled to go in March 29th for a colposcopy. At this point, I was kinda getting freaked out because I could not for the life of me recall when I had my last period (was thinking it was sometime in mid-February) and on March 28th, one day before the colposcopy, I puked. For NO APPARENT REASON. Just threw up, La Ti Da!

Of course you see where I am headed with this.

I went in for the procedure, told the nurse about my last period and the puking episode the day before and she thought maybe we ought to have a pregnancy test so that the doctor could make a decision about continuing on with the colposcopy.

I peed in the cup. I went back to the room and undressed. I sat naked under a scratchy tarp of paper towel. I waited.

Not even two minutes passed before the nurse poked her head in to my room.

"It's positive."

Blink. Blink.

"Your pregnancy test? Came back positive."

Blink. "Oh?"

"Are you ok?"

"ahhh...I think so."

And then she left me sitting there by myself for possibly 5 years, or ten minutes. I have no idea.

So the doc came in with a big grin and asked if he didn't give me a prescription for birth control pills at my last visit? And I told him that of course he did and the irony of it all was that the script was waiting in my purse to be filled when I got my period. Which obviously never came.

My daughter is not yet one year old. We are living in a house that is extremely crowded for a family of four, and now we are about to have a family of five. We are nowhere near friends or family. As you can tell, this news was not expected, and I have been struggling to accept it for a couple of weeks now. I know that it will all work out and I know that it will be ok. I know that there will be a time when I will look back and not be able to imagine a life without this third child. It might just take me awhile to get there. To that place where it is all ok. Is that completely selfish of me? Am I a horrible person for having these thoughts? Why do I feel like a horrible person?

Also...the biopsy taken showed that I have severe cervical dysplasia which could lead to cancer if not treated. So, you know. WooHoo and all that. They are going to keep a close eye on it throughout my pregnancy and then we will discuss treatment options after the birth of the baby. Anyone have any similar diagnosis to share with me? Your experiences and thoughts?

Hey, it will all be fine. I do know that, and I am also feeling myself get a little more excited with each passing day. There is a ton to do before my due date (November 24th) and it is somewhat (ok...extremely) overwhelming, but it's the way it is and that is ok.

It's ok.

Introducing: TinyIttyBabyJuJu

Comments

[Jeni]

Wow, congratulations from a lurker de-lurking. Yours is the second pregnancy announcement I've read today, there must be something in the water!

[girl]

Congratulations! I commented a while back and have been in seclusion since then... I kind of found out in a similar way about our baby #3. I totally understand the shock. I really really do. My first two are only 18 mos apart and then #3 is 3 years behind #2.

[Tammy]

Congrats!!!!I hope this pregnancy is smooth! You will get plenty of exercise, chasing the little one as soon as she is walking! That video of her was adorable! How does JuJu feel about this, & hubby? I am happy for you!

[heathabee]

WOW! That IS some big news! Congratulations! I think it's wonderful, even if it is unexpected! I'm sure that the pregnancy will go smoothly and that a new baby brother or sister will be a great early-birthday & Christmas present for Little Juju and BabyJuju! :-) I wish you the best health during this pregnancy! I'm sure the cervical-ness will turn out to be okay, I will keep you in my prayers for sure!

Congrats again on the new (itty bitty) bundle of joy!

PS. that video of BabyJuju was adorable! I tried to comment on the video site, but it didn't go through (even though I have an account! sigh.) She's got some great vocal chords, there! And some great hand-eye coordination too! hehe :-)

[Shann]

Oh. Wow.

Sort of the general thing that went through your mind, I suppose! Scary, exciting, shocking and a blessing all at once. Take it from a mom of three, that once you've had two babies, the third is a piece of cake. You seem to be an awesome mom, and I'm sure you will handle a third JuJu with expertise and grace. Congrats sweetie...take this as the blessing it is...and as for the cervical dysplasia, they've been keeping an eye on mine for 10 years now with no worries or concerns. Don't worry; embrace the joy of new life (and try not to barf...) XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Shann

[Simon]

You are NOT a horrible person and it's completely normal for you to be feeling like that. Like this. Like the way you feel.

Congratulations. Everything's going to work out spectacularly.

[Chris]

So, for the most part...CONGRATS!! For the not-so-great stuff? I'm sure it will all work out well :-)

[Amanda]

OH MY GOD!!!! CONGRATS!!! I would have just given you mine if you had asked :)

[MJR]

Congrats!

But I am confused, why did you post a picture of Doppler Radar for the Greater Cleveland area?
Are there severe storms expected?

[Kristine]

*tacklehug*

YES! you were just pregnant! Alyx was 9 months old when I found out I was pregnant with Shea. If only my reaction was so...calm. I swear I turned into a ghetto freak. "OH HELL NO!!! I AM NOT PREGNANT AGAIN!"
I cried. I cried for days and days and I felt like I was robbing Alyx of her right to be kissed and fawned over by bringing another one in this world. I cried for her.

And now...Shea is the most wonderful I could have given her. Kara wasn't too happy to have TWO baby sisters, but she grew into it.

You will too.

*HUG* I am SOO happyyyyy for you!

[Kristine]

gift. i forgot gift. DAMN, i need to proof read before I hit submit.

[Katja]

Congratulations!

[Pamalamadingdong]

See the video was like a bait and switch type thing. I was totally wowed by her chattiness.

WOW and you SO LOVED being pregnant last time.

CONGRATS!!!!!

Jen? Breath. Breath in and out in and out.

And take care of those naughty bits!

[Em]

CONGRATULATIONS! I will never forget the utter shock I felt when I found out I was pregnant with our #3. It lasted quite awhile but she is a joy! Hugs to you all!

[Beth]

It will be marvelous, just you wait and see. And thanks for finally posting this, because I was bursting. You should never tell me secrets, but I guess I should have mentioned that before you told me the secret.

Such fabulous good luck, really. Another beautiful blonde baby on the way.

[Emily]

Congratulations!!

[TIff]

Oh My !!! I am the mother of an 11 month old as well and I have to tell you that I went straight to the calander to check the date of my last period. I am really happy for you but I know you must be totally overwhelmed. Just remeber to take it all one thing at a time and if possible get help with the laundry(hahaha). You will do great.

[Tuesday]

Congratulations. Seems like you have a lot on your plate. I have a similar story, twins living far from all my family & friends was told by my gyno I had a lump on my throat, then that I had thyroid cancer and needed surgery. I had it removed and it was benign, thank goodness.

Good things do come in mysterious ways.

[Kirsten]

I am so excited for you. I know all about unexpected babes and I am wishing you all the luck in the world for an easy pregnancy!

[Heather]

JuJu,

I went through this, so if you email me, I can give you the run down. =) And if it helps...this is Scott Held's older sister. My email addy is on this. Congrats on number three. =)

[mindy]

Yes and yes. I had dysplasia and cryosurgery, which isn't really so bad. The bad part is waiting out the pregnancy!! I am sooo sorry--it's the pits to have a diagnosis and not be able to have surgery to fix it right away. Fortunately it doesn't progress very quickly from what I understand, or they'd be doing something about it now. If you take care of it right after the birth, you'll kill two birds with one stone--the procedure gives you the same ole six weeks of lochia! Lovely!

I also had a very unexpected and not exactly wished-for third child. I got pregnant the very first time I had sex after my second was born. You'd think we'd know better, huh? And I was raised by public health experts.

It's perfectly ok to be less than thrilled at the timing or even the fact of this third baby. In a few years you won't be able to imagine your life without that little one, but for now, it's ok to vent. You can yell down my email all you want. We can swap stories. I've got some doozies.

[Jen14221]

JuJu - I hope you did not delete your Peevery post b/c of my comment. I am so happy for you! Too bad about the zit. Really, put it back up and peeve all you want. I think I am done with one kid anyway! I am too tired.

[ali]

wow.
babies are amazing, no matter how planned or unplanned they are!

feel good!

[Mellie Helen]

Surprise -- another bundle of love, that for the moment looks like "OHMYGODWHATAMIGONNADO" but will soon become "Oh my God, thank You for blessing me with this little treasure!" Don't pound yourself, you're not a bad person -- you're an awesome person. And here's blessings to you on the Other Matter.

[Heather]

Congratulations!!!