And How Is YOUR Morning Going?

2:00 am- 4:59 am: BabyJuJu wakes every ten minutes or so for the sheer joy of driving her parents batshit insane

5:00 am: MamaJuJu has had just about e-fucking-nuff. Takes BabyJuJu downstairs and trips over a Rescue Hero in the dark

5:02 am: Change BabyJuJu's diaper and heat a bottle

5:08 am: Try and feed BabyJuJu as she decided that 5:08 is the perfect time for smiling, cooing and squealing

5:15 am: Give up on bottle

5:16 am: Put BabyJuJu in her swing, plug her face with binky

5:17 am: Lay down on the couch hoping to get some sleep before LittleJuJu wakes up for school

5:20 am: Get up to put binky back into BabyJuJu's mouth (who invented that god forsaken thing anyway?)

5:20 am-5:45 am: Lay awake worrying about various problems in my life including such pressing matters as why I did not do the dishes last night and what should I pack for LittleJuJu's lunch

5:45 am: Glad I didn't fall asleep yet, put binky back in mouth

5:46 am- 6:53 am: Sleep?

6:54 am- LittleJuJu and Daddy come downstairs for breakfast

6:54 am- 7:01 am: Hide under covers denying that it is actually morning

7:02 am- 7:30 am: Pack lunch and heat up coffee from yesterday's pot, attempt to wake up, step in orange juice that LittleJuJu spilled on floor

7:31 am-7:50 am: Help LittleJuJu shower and dress for school

7:51 am-8:05 am: Wait for the bus that never arrives at the same time which is reason we have to wait outside for 15 minutes

8:06 am- Stop bus to deliver the lunch box that LittleJuJu left in the driveway

8:07 am- Turn doorknob to door inside garage. It is locked. Curse and kick door

8:08 am- Turn doorknob to front door. It is locked. Curse louder and kick door harder and realize that baby inside might be crying or suffocating and would be able to do nothing about it

8:10 am- Trudge through the soaking wet grass in my flip-flops to back door. Turn knob. It is locked. Panic.

8:12 am- Pretend that actually made a spare key and hid it in the garage the last time that this happened and go to garage to look for phantom key. Dread having to call Mr.JuJu to come back home to rescue his dumbass wife

8:15 am- Back on the deck pulling screen off of window over kitchen sink. See that window is unlocked. Realize that any number of murders could have slipped into our home and killed us last night

8:16 am- Pull chair over to window and thank god that I was sick and lost the rest of the baby weight otherwise there was no way my ass was fitting through this window

8:17 am- Place foot in sink full of last night's dirty dishes. Curse loudly

8:18 am- Take a crying BabyJuJu from her swing

8:19 am- More with the diapers and bottles

Comments

[The Greatest Aunt]

Wowie. Sorry about all of that. I promise not to complain about anything today. YOU deserve all of the "having a bad morning" sympathy!

[Amanda]

I did that once, but I actually locked my keys in the car with the baby in it- in my driveway after I locked the house up. You need to make fresh coffee every morning. Hope your day goes better :)

[spoiled-grrl]

Wow, that is a badass morning! Hope your day improves :)

[heather]

Oooof.. That is quite the morning you had...

I hope the rest of the day improves for you! Thanks so much for the comment on my xanga, too! What a nice surprise! :-)

<3

[Marsha]

It can only get better.

[Katja]

My morning was no fun either, but you definitely win!

[Hula Doula]

And then there are days that I don't miss having a baby in the house. Hopefully you can nap a little today while Baby JUJU is sleeping.

[kelli]

Well, the caffeine must have worked because this writing is great. Bravo!