JuJuBee

Hey Ma, Did You Bring the Porn and Cigarettes?

Fast forward 14 years and this might just be what I hear coming from my son through a telephone, he and I separated by a sheet of bulletproof glass. You might wonder why such a glum thought about my normally shy and sweet four year old. The same four year old who picks dandelions from the neighbors yard ( See? Another sign I missed! Trespassing!) and the same four year old who still wants to be rocked at night while holding his favorite blankey. Well I will tell you why I am anticipating a life of crime and negligence from my boy.

His name is Nick.

This "Nick" character has strolled into my son's life via preschool (of course I should have known) and has created a monster. I've yet to be formally introduced to Nick or his mom who I assume to be some sort of a slutty crack smoker, I mean perfectly nice woman. All I know of Nick is what LittleJuJu tells me after school. Nick is his bestest friend at school. Nick doesn't share, Nick pushes him in the hallway. I like this kid alot, don't you? The exact qualities I look for in a bestest friend indeed.

As I waited outside of the door to pick LittleJuJu up the teacher poked her head out the door and smiled real big. I was waiting for her to tell me what a suburb child my boy was today. Instead she says, "I couldn't believe it, your son had a time out today!" Smile, smile, smiling. My who had a what today? Apparently Julian and another little boy were acting a bit crazy, not listening and both needed a time out until they could settle down and listen. "Did this other boy perhaps go by the name of Nick?", I asked. "Yep, he sure does."

Oh. Nick, huh? I see.

I don't like Nick. I would like to give him a chance. Every time I get to school and peek in the door my little guy is glued to this Nick child. I want to like him. I do not like him. Am I awful? My son likes him, god only knows why. Is it too early to intrude or is my parental duty to steer LittleJuJu away from the troublemakers already? This is hard stuff, preschool.

The One Where I Am Hungry As Hell

Wowsers, people. I am ravenous! I am craving comfort food. Whether it is the pregnancy or something else, I cannot tell but comfort food is my savior. If it is warm and yummy I want it. NOW. Just a few of the things I have found myself either eating or dreaming about lately, in bullet form, of course.

• chili
• soup (any kind, no prejudice here)
• pizza
• chocolate chip cookies (warm only)
• bagels and cream cheese
• sloppy joes (having for dinner)
• warm zucchini or banana bread (send me some?)
• soft tacos (had for dinner last night)
• rolls, biscuits or muffins
• carb overkill anyone??
• and twizzlers (always with the twizzlers, always)

See my dilemma here? If I keep eating this JUNK I will have serious JUNK in the trunk or whatever it is that these crazy kids say these days. To make me feel better? While talking to my dad on the phone about my latest doctor appt.? My father says, " Now don't go getting all fat." Who the hell says stuff like that?! Uhm, ok thanks dad.

LittleJuJu Quote of the Week

Whilst walking along the sidewalk and kicking leaves with one eye up to the trees: "Yes sir, sure looks like Fall."

So I Suck, What's It To Ya?

Yes people, yes. I've been negligent. So very bad to my blog and it's nice, faithful readers. I seem to be going through some sort of a phase where nothing exciting or noteworthy has been happening in my life. The last week or so has been filled with the same old, same old. Wake up kinda nauseous...live in slow motion throughout the day so as not to upset the belly-gods into making me actually sing praises to the porcelain gods. How exciting, JuJuBee !! WOO-freaking-HOO!! In other news...please send some happy, wakeful, snuggly, cuddly and huggy vibes to Mr. JuJu. There are times when I wonder if I have married a robot. He works and works and works and works some more. He is dedicated. He is determined. He is sleepwalking through the day. Mr. JuJu stayed up ALL night to work on meeting a deadline. Ok, that's a lie, he crawled into bed a bit less than an hour before his alarm went off at which point he got into the shower...threw on a tie and headed out the door. I assume he will start seeing things and losing his mind soon so maybe throw in some sanity vibes his way too if you could. I thank you. Oh !! My girlfriends and their kiddos might be visiting me this weekend! I am so excited...I never get to see my friends and never get company and I DO LOVE both of those things. I love having something to look forward to. Now if my stomach could just EASE UP a bit and allow me to clean this house...

Dana & JuJuBee

Dana & JuJuBee 

Happy Birthday Dana Marie !

I have to take a moment and wish my bestest friend, Dana a very happy 27th birthday. It is really hard to believe that she is 27 ! So I have this little problem sometimes forgetting how old I am, really it has gotten better over the years but I could always count on Dana to be there and help me out when someone asks my age and I answer with, " Uhm, ah....*blink*...*blink*...I think I am...uhm..." Dana (whispering) : Oh my god, you are 26...TWENTY SIX! JuJuBee: *cough* I am 26...sorry I seemed to have lost my voice for a second there, hehe. Hee *cough* Have a wonderful birthday ! Party it up some for me too, will ya?

So Here's The Deal

I am convinced that pregnancy induces writer's block (or NON-writer's block as I would never consider myself a "writer"... more of a "rambler-oner") and I am not happy about this. Hmn. What to write about? I could write about being in the shower today and for the first time since I have become pregnant I needed to puke. I'm sure you'd rather hear about prettier, happier things. How about flowers? Everyday as I walk LittleJuJu to preschool he searches neighbor's yards for the one with the most dandelions. This can be a tough task for him as most of the houses in the neighborhood look down upon dandelions as the devil-weed and if left to grow in their lawn, the world would undoubtedly come to an end and their imperfect lawns would land them a condo in hell. Then there are people like my son who think that those yellow flowers are the most beautiful flowers in the entire world. He cannot imagine why anyone in their right mind would EVER DARE to have them killed. When he finds the perfect lawn, he will usually break the law and go right on in and pick as many as he can get before I start to get nervous and rush him along. I can't bring myself to tell him no, he cannot go into someone's else's lawn and pick their ugly weeds. I can't do that because he is picking them for me. When he hands me those little nasty, smelly flowers with a huge smile on his face I just melt. Everytime. So if you see an adorable blonde boy in your yard, plucking dandelions like it is the most important thing in the world, please let him go. He's my LittleJuJu and he is picking those for his Momma and it is the best part of her day. Thanks.

There Is A Heaven...

...and we just met. Target and pumpkin pie. Within an hour of each other. Pure bliss.

Happy Friday! ZZZZZZzzzzzzzz

Yes, it is that time. That time during pregnancy when even walking to the bathroom for the gazillionith time (due to the fact that your uterus is ever-expanding and pushing on your bladder) will put you on the couch for the rest of the day. I'm tired, people. I'm exhausted. I am useless really. During the brief spurts of what noone in their right mind would refer to as "energy" I will typically get as much done around the house as possible because if I don't...well...what was I saying? Oh yes. I seem to have become somewhat forgetful as well. Screw it.

While I was happily browsing through the blogroll this morning and checking the fun new site I found about pregnancy I noticed an ant crawling across my desk. Harmless. An ant. Yeah, no big deal. Upon further investigation I found that this innocent ant had friends. Alot of friends. There was basically an all out ant party happening behind the speaker on the desk. Those little bastards were EVERYWHERE. What in the hell? Where did these ants come from?? OH. That's right. I remember now. LittleJuJu spilled an entire glass of orange juice last week all over the desk and over whatever papers occupied the top. Of course I cleaned it up half-assedly ( it IS a word because I SAY it is a word) and I suppose whatever juice had dried attracted this little ant day of fun. Ants make me itchy. They make me nervous. Not unlike the way I felt whenever George spoke during the debate last night. Of course the ant incident involved taking everything from the desk, vacuuming on, around and under it...breaking out the disinfectant and scrubbing the desk before putting everything back. A full blown cleaning spree ensued that involved the dining room floor, the computer monitor, the speakers, printer, phone and anything else within a half mile radius of the ant party.

It smells so lemony fresh in here....ahhh.

Now of course I will be asleep for the remainder of the weekend.