JuJuBee

Regarding Moi

You know, sometimes I forget that I actually PAY to have this fucking site. I should maybe, I don't know...update the thing once in awhile. I can't use a lack of content as an excuse for not writing, mostly I don't write because that when I DO have a few minutes to myself, I'd much rather zone out and see what YOU all are up to, rather than have to use both hands and tell you about what is going on in my life. Also? Where the hell to begin? Also? My language has not improved by a goddamned long shot.

So, I guess I'll fill you in a bit about my work situation and try to be all cryptic about it, because I never know who reads here and I never tell people at work about this site, but you know...people aren't dumb. Okay, MOST people aren't dumb. I do work with a few who might be a few cards short of a full deck (you know who you are) but still. Where was I?

I have been working for a company since last October, a well known company that sells skincare and cosmetics and some fragrances and other things. I am a consultant for this company and I am also working for a particular vendor who houses my particular company's counter. Got that? I work for two different places at once, basically. So, not long ago I heard about a DIFFERENT vendor who had an opening for the same position at the same counter in another location. This was AWESOME because the place was less than HALF of the distance from my house and the pay was better and the store was way busier and the clientele was probably willing to spend way more on my products and also? A real weekend off every third week. Like: Friday, Saturday AND Sunday off. And they really wanted me.

HELLO? What's the problem here?

I don't like to piss people off, I don't like to make waves. I once dated a guy that I hated for about two months longer than I should have because I didn't have the heart to hurt his feelings and dump his sorry ass.

Anyway, I finally got the ball rolling, a week later was able to put in my two weeks, and my last day is Friday the 13th!

Yay and good for me. Yada Yada Yada.

During this time, I also had been in for my yearly pap test. I told the doctor that under no uncertain terms was I wanting to be pregnant again, could we pretty please with a cherry on top schedule a tubal ligation for me? Please, huh, please, pretty please?

She said yes. There are quite a few people out there who have very strong opinions about the choices that people make in their own personal lives. Did you know this? Yes, you did? Really? Because I wasn't aware. I was told that it was stupid of me to get a tubal when it would be so much easier for my husband to have his nether regions undone. I was told I would regret it (most of this was told to me by one of those short card deck chicks from work) and that if THEY were me, they'd never do it.

Heh. Guess what? You're not me (thank god!) and I don't give a shit what you think. Neener neener neener.

I decided to move forward with my tubal for one reason only. I KNOW in my deepest heart of hearts that I am DONE having babies. Say I walked out into the street tomorrow and was struck dead by a bus. Say my husband falls in love and remarries, say he and his wife decide to have more children (good luck with that, sweetie!) and what if his plumbing was not all connected!? I would be soo very sad. I KNOW I am done. I cannot speak for what the futuremight hold for my husband, therefore....I have the tubal done. That's that.

Now, as plans are in place to have my tubal done on Monday, June 2nd, my pap comes back with bad news. Again.

Severe Dysplasia. Again. That means that I have some mean and angry cells in my cervix that might want to hurt me, might want to really hurt me bad. So we added a LEEP procedure to my surgery and called it a day. No more angry cells threatening to give me cancer, no more Fertile Myrtle, no more birth control pills giving me kidney stones (oh yeah, did I mention that the stones were caused by my taking YAZ birth control which contains a diuretic?) and viola. Life will be good...or at least better.

I had my surgery on Monday, all went well, I go back to work tonight, and life goes on.

That's what is new.

Go....take a break from this book you've read and please...if you have Yaz in your medicine cabinet, and are prone to kidney stones, go forth and burn them. Then drive your car over them, and then drive them to the dump and chuck them hard and far.  Thank me later.

I'm not proofreading this, so thanks for hanging in there if you got this far.

A Typical Workday...

...OR...Where the Hell I've Been.

5:30-6:30 am: Andrew wakes up. Bring him into our room before he wakes his sister. Change his diaper and put him into the Pack-n-Play. Pray he'll go back to sleep for a few minutes. Usually he doesn't so we turn on Sprout and he watches cartoons for a bit.

7:00 am: Mr. JuJu is usually up and in the shower, Julian climbs into our bed.

7:15 am: Have had enough of Drew's whining and Julian's kicking. Get out of bed.

7:20 am: Madeline is up. Change her diaper.

7:30 am: Making breakfast, washing dishes, laying out clothes for Julian, finding backpack and shoes.

7:35 am: Showing Julian how to hang up his bath towel for the 13,713th time.

7:45 am: Change Andrew's poopy diaper.

7:55 am: Kiss goodbye for Mr. JuJu.

8:00 am: Getting all kids to the table for  breakfast.

8:10 am: Making Julian's lunch for school, helping him with his spelling homework.

8:15 am: Putting more waffles in the toaster for baby with bottomless pit of a stomach.

8:30 am: Get everyone down from table, gather dishes and wipe off table.

8:35 am: Help Julian get coat, gloves, boots, hat and backpack on.

8:40 am: Pull baby out of my room where he is calling someone from our bedside phone.

8:45 am: Kiss Julian good bye, stand at front window with the little ones and wave goodbye to the bus.

8:50 am: Put Calliou on for kids while I do the morning dishes and clean up the kitchen.

9:00 am: Make beds, gather laundry and put clothes in the washer.

9:20 am: Make coffee and put an english muffin in the toaster.

9:30 am: Break up a fight and finally SIT DOWN to have my breakfast and check email.

9:31 am: Someone poops, stop eating to change diaper. Wash hands.

9:35 am: Sit back down to cold coffee and food.

9:36 am: Reheat coffee.

9:37 am: Answer pleas and begging for "MORE WATER PLEEEAAASSEEEE, MOMMMMMYYYYY."

9:40 am: Finish breakfast and cup of coffee.

9:45 am: Transfer clothes from washer to dryer.

10:00 am: Time out for cuddling with my babies.

10:30 am: Answer pleas and begging for "NEED SNACKS PLEEEAAAASSSEEE, MOMMMMYYYY!"

10:40 am: Fold dry laundry, put another load into washer. Feed cat.

10:50 am: Make some calls for {insert any sorts of appointment making you like, but stick to the non-fun spa-type appointments like pediatrician check-ups and urology}.

11:00 am: Pull out some clean clothes and towels.

11:15 am: Bathtime for the kids.

11:45 am: Make lunch.

12:00 pm: Eat lunch...might even be lucky enough to sit and eat too!

12:30 pm: Baby gets a bottle and down for a nap.

12:40 pm: Madeline goes down for a nap.

12:45 pm: Clean up lunch dishes and kitchen.

1:00 pm: Back downstairs to do laundry.

1:20 pm: Sit down to read some blogs, IM with husband, have a snack and some more coffee.

1:30 pm: Think about posting something to my blog, realize noone wants to hear what I do all day.

1:45 pm: More laundry.

2:00 pm: Shower before the kids wake up if I am lucky.

2:30 pm: Get ready for work.

3:00 pm: Kids are up. Change diapers.

3:15 pm: Snacks.

3:30 pm: Julian comes home. We talk about his day, look at school papers, play with the kids and turn on some cartoons.

4:00 pm: Stare at pantry, stare into fridge. Decide on dinner....either start it or call for pizza.

4:15 pm: Get some more snuggles in before I have to leave.

4:30 pm: Fight with flat iron, hate hair.

4:45 pm: Find coat, purse, keys, gloves, scarf.

5:00 pm: Get kids to the table for dinner....if lucky, dinner is on the table when Mr. JuJu walks in the door at...

5:10 pm: Say hello to Mr. JuJu. Say goodbye to Mr.JuJu. Kiss kids and leave for work.

5:40 pm: Arrive at work.

5:45 pm: Work.

6:30 pm: Work

7:30 pm: Work

8:30 pm: Work

9:00 pm: Basically give up on work, have some coffee and bullshit with my co-workers. eat cookies, make fun of customers. Best part of my night.

9:45 pm: Leave work.

10:15 pm: Arrive at grocery store and shop for groceries.

10:40 pm: Come home! Kiss husband. Fall into chair.

11:00 pm: Asleep in chair.

My Halloween Costume

I was reading over at All & Sundry and her post about not feeling particularly expert-like at any one thing really got me thinking. Especially since today will be the first day in over seven years that I will go back out into the work force. Ok, "work force" sounds a bit dramatic. Back out into the grown up world where I will be conversing with grown up-type people and not having to wipe any of their asses or cut up their food. It will be amazing.

I got my Make-up Doctor lab coats in the mail yesterday, and when I slid the coat over my T-shirt in front of Little-JuJu, he giggled and said, "Hey, you look like a doctor!" and for a split second I felt...kind of silly. Here I am, at age almost 30, and I have not really excelled at anything other than a better than average ability to apply make-up. I am putting this lab coat on, wondering what it might be like to put a real white coat on and go out into the world and make people better. Fix boo-boos and save lives. Is this lab coat some sort of mockery?

I try to be positive, I try to see the glass half full, typically I can talk myself out of feeling down. When I really, really look deep down , I see that this job I am taking isn't so much silly. I get teased some about the make-up thing, but the reality is: it makes you feel better. Looking good makes you feel good. If I wake up feeling down on myself, a shower and some make-up can usually do the trick. Even the fact that I will be able to help people improve their skin to the point where they don't even need the stupid make-up to feel better is a good thing. Maybe I can get used to the feeling that I would be fixing people's boo-boos from the outside, they will have to go elsewhere to fix the problems inside, but I might take some credit for a teeny tiny part of it.

Also, Mr. JuJu will be home making dinner, getting kids into jammies, doing homework, washing dishes and playing the bedtime game. So even if I'm not exactly bringing home the bacon, and even if I was, my hours are so few, that the bacon would be more like...turkey bacon, I can be the person who isn't just a mother for a few nights a week. That will do wonders for my soul. Maybe I am a doctor after all.

Missing My Boy and My Elasticity

Do you ever go through periods when you just look like total shit? I just saw a picture of myself from a wedding that we went to last weekend, and I just cannot get over how exhausted and old I look. I wondered why I never get carded anymore and then BAM! there's all the explanation that I needed staring right back at me. I know that it has been over 9 months since I have had a really good night sleep. I never slept well during the last two months of pregnancy, and Andrew is 7 months old...so yes...It's been a long time. Even before that, Maddie didn't sleep through the night for almost over a year. I have quite a deficit going. It's certainly taken a toll on my appearance. If it was just appearances that I was worried about, I could live with that, but I am also grouchy, forgetful, disorganized, completely lacking in energy, and basically just...exhausted. Not looking good is just icing on the cake. YUM.

I didn't intend to get on here and complain about my face, honest. I came to share some plans with you. We are leaving tomorrow bright and early to head to our Aunt and Uncle's beach cottage where we will hang out until Sunday night or Monday morning. Then we will come home and guess who will be waiting for me?? LITTLE JUJU! I swear it feels like he has been gone for a month. I can't wait to hug him.

On the 4th of July, we will be going to hang out with the Stanley Cup. A relative plays for the Ducks, so he gets the cup for a period of time and we are going to go check it out. LittleJuJu is much more excited about this than I am, but I'll take some pictures, should be fun.

I hope you all have a safe and wonderful holiday (are you celebrating this weekend like we are?) and for all of the Canucks...Happy Dominion Day or whatever else it is that you celebrate! Excuse my ignorance when it comes to foreign holidays, I have a hard enough time trying to remember the American ones.

JuJuWho?

There's really no point in boring you with the whys and howcomes and the where have I beens and all of that nonsensical jargon...the important thing is that I am here, people. You have missed me...I know that you have been crying, maybe even sobbing into your cornflakes, but never fear, for I am back. I am possibly even going to be posting on a somewhat regular basis (what constitutes "regular" anyway?) so commence with your rejoicing! Shout it from the roof tops! JuJuBee is back! SHE'S BACK!

Now maybe she will shut the fuck up and get back to what is new. Also, I think she may have spit on my keyboard.

You guys look great! Have you lost weight or something? I haven't seen you in sooo long. I've almost forgotten how to type.

I think we are maybe finally getting settled in to our new home. We are certainly far from having boxes unpacked. There are quite a few in the basement that once a week or so we will move around in order to feel as though we have made some huge progress in the unpacking department. We will eventually have a living area down there, but it might be years before I can even imagine what it would look like. Step by step...day by day and all of that crap.

So..as for the children: The boy, he is spending a week in Pennsylvania with my family. He does that every summer. It used to be a relaxing week for me, but  now with the little people, it isn't as relaxing as it once was. Still...it's quieter, and I have less to clean up and I don't find puddles of piss on the floor by the toilet...so there's that.

The Girl. What can I say? She is just amazing. If she grows up to be half as stubborn and hilarious and comical and intelligent as she is right this second? I'll never have to worry about her. We started potty training last night and so far it consists of my asking, "Hey Maddie!!! Don't you want to sit down on the potty and make a pee? You can have some MnM's if you do!!" and then she screams, "OK!" and sits on the potty for 2.4 seconds, making a pretend peeing face and jumps up to show me some imaginary pee in the potty and holds out her hands for some candy. We have work to do.

The baby is...well....he keeps us on our toes. He has been sleeping better, eating better, and spending more time not screaming.  Progress!  More on  the baby as the milestones hit. I sense some sitting up and/or crawling very soon.

Ok, enough for now. Too much typing all at once might scare my fingers back into hiding. What have you been up to, internets!?

Happy Birthday to Me

Right now, this very second, my TWO YEAR OLD daughter is taking her very first nap in her big girl bed.

Sniff.

Sniff.

Exactly what I wished for (except for that other wish involving the other child and the sleeping).

Notes From Home

Hmn, well.

Isn't this awkward.

It's like running into that guy you had a one night stand with a few weeks later and then fumbling to try and talk about anything other than the fact that you just up and left and never called or answered your phone.

Only I wouldn't know anything about that.

I'm here! In Rain and Snow Central! Although it seems as though the rest of the Northeast is also suffering the shit weather, so I can't really blame it on Buffalo, and also it is April...which incidentally is the month I was born and though I have all but ignored you all and fell off of the face of the earth, I will still accept presents, cards, chocolate and copious amounts of alcohol.

We are slowly but surely settling into our new home. Our first family get together will be on the 29th to celebrate my baby girl turning 2 years old and my turning 29 years old. I was under the mistaken assumption that we would be all unpacked and settled into the house and new routines by then.

Ha.

Hahahahahahahahah.

I was clearly smoking something that day.

There is still so much to do. We still have boxes everywhere. Most of my clothes are in wardrobe boxes, Mr. JuJu has clothes all over, LittleJuJu's room is in chaos until we get him a dresser and put border up, everything is still so...undone.

But we are home. We are finally in our own home and we love it. The Boy is adjusting to school pretty well, the babies are adjusting to the house and seeing Grandma on a regular basis...and I am adjusting to having someone around in the evening to help me with the kids.

A huge reason as to why I haven't been here is because the computer is now in the basement. In the old house, it was smack dab in the center of the house where I would walk past it about 11 gazillion trillion times a day. I had the opportunity to blog and check my email whenever I wanted and could still be right there with the kids...now I have to time my visit to the computer with the times when the kids are sleeping, or when I run down to put clothes in the dryer, or when Mr. J is home. So until we get a laptop, which may happen sooner than later, I will be posting pretty much hardly ever.

So, uhm...what's new with you? Is there still anyone reading? If you are, you so totally deserve a cookie. Go ahead...go get one, I'll wait here.

Maybe She'll be a Podiatrist

No time to write anything but a quick update. We are closing on the house this Friday and the truck shows up at our house to load next Friday. As in NEXT FRIDAY...the 23rd. I know! That is SOON! I'm not ready! Must get away from this screen.

Speaking of trucks...why did no one warn me that professional movers are also professional bend-you-over-and-give-it-to-you-good-right-where-it-hurts rapists? I never knew. They better plan on giving me a cold stiff drink and a smoke when this whole thing is over.

Okay then....on to the supplemental pictures!

Each and every day Miss Attitude Extraordinaire will inspect her toes for a good ten minutes before bathtime and extract each tiny piece of lint that she can find. I believe she hides a microscope in her diaper, as I'll be damned if I can see anything there. Today, she discovered a new hobby:

Then we have this here baby who is growing faster than I know how to deal with. It's a shame he's been so neglected as an unfortunate side effect of the move. At least he can find attention from that cute baby in the mirror:

 

And last but not least...not an image, but a wish. I wish my Mother the best year ever. Can't wait to celebrate her birthday when I see her next week. Of course by "celebrate" I mean "hey you...can you carry that box down to the basement for me?". Go wish her a wonderful 35th birthday.

They Let Us Out of Prison Today!

Google Me

I finally beat out that fucking clown.

No really, Google me!

Yeah, that's right, Clownie.